


Drunk again (to feel a little love)

by HopeSilverheart



Series: Loving Em at 2AM [86]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: (in a way), Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Human, Bartender Maia, Denial of Feelings, Drunk Lydia Branwell, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Light Angst, Love Confessions, Or at least Crush Confessions, Past Catarina/Lydia, Pining, Pre-Slash, Song fic, Supportive Maia Roberts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:35:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26148781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HopeSilverheart/pseuds/HopeSilverheart
Summary: They both knew, deep down, that Lydia was far from okay and that her coping mechanisms were more than a little dubious. They both knew she was struggling to stay afloat, that she thought about Catarina far more often than was healthy, and that alcohol was the only way she could even pretend to be fine.It was alright, though, because Maia understood.
Relationships: Lydia Branwell/Maia Roberts
Series: Loving Em at 2AM [86]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1764400
Kudos: 3





	Drunk again (to feel a little love)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thatnerdemryn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatnerdemryn/gifts).



“Well if it isn’t my favourite customer. Bad day?”

Lydia stared listlessly at the drink in her hand as she nodded. Maia’s shift hadn’t started when the blonde had first made it to the bar, so she had gotten a subpar drink from another bartender and hoped Maia would arrive sooner rather than later.

“Was Catarina there?” Maia asked, tugging the terrible drink out of Lydia’s grasp before replacing it with a brightly coloured cocktail that Lydia _knew_ she adored. “You only get like this when she stops by.”

“Apparently Alec thinks we need to spend more time with our competitors, maintain a good relationship with them or whatever the hell it is he wants,” Lydia rolled her eyes. She was two drinks in for the night and, although she was far from drunk, she knew it was only a matter of time before she reached her limit. Thankfully, Maia would always be there to make sure she didn’t do anything stupid. “And then she took me out for coffee.”

“Ouch,” Maia winced, patting Lydia’s shoulder sympathetically as wiped the countertop down. “I’m assuming it didn’t go as you wanted it to?”

“It went fine,” Lydia shrugged.

She wasn’t even lying. When Catarina had asked to speak with her in private, Lydia had expected a disaster. She had half believed that she would break down crying halfway through their conversation and beg Catarina to take her back. But she hadn’t. She had stared at her ex longingly, had dreamed of holding her close again, had felt loneliness pang through her very soul when Catarina had laughed, but she had stayed strong.

“We talked about work, and then a little about our break-up,” she added when Maia continued staring at her expectantly. “I guess she wanted to make sure I got the closure I deserved, which… it was nice of her. I wish it could be enough for me.”

“Hey,” Maia said chidingly, gently scuffing the back of Lydia’s head. “Don’t pull that nonsense with me. One month is hardly enough time to get over a love as big as the one you shared with Catarina. Believe me, she’s probably just as broken as you on the inside.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” Lydia sighed. “She was always stronger than me, and _she_ isn’t the one who got her heart broken. There are rumours going around the office that she’s already going on dates with other people, looking for a rebound or something. Which is fine! It’s completely fine!”

“But it still hurts,” Maia pointed out, smiling softly at Lydia when the blonde’s face fell. “Luckily for you, I have endless amounts of alcohol and won’t judge you when you’re too drunk to walk straight.”

“The luckiest woman in the world,” Lydia chuckled, the sound slightly slurred. One thing Lydia loved about Maia’s drinks was how _strong_ they were. It took her hours to get drunk when the other bartenders were around, but with Maia? The other woman understood exactly what Lydia needed, and she knew it wasn’t a light, sweet drink to get her tipsy.

They both knew, deep down, that Lydia was far from okay and that her coping mechanisms were more than a little dubious. They both knew she was struggling to stay afloat, that she thought about Catarina far more often than was healthy, and that alcohol was the only way she could even _pretend_ to be fine.

It was alright, though, because Maia understood. Maia knew what it was like to go through a break-up and lose every piece of yourself, so she never judged Lydia for losing herself in bad habits. She let Lydia drink and drink and drink, and then she took her back to her place to make sure she was safe. Lydia had grown so used to Maia’s apartment that she didn’t even startle anymore when she woke up there.

“She _shook my hand_ , Maia,” Lydia whined once the bartender came back from a quick trip to the bar’s other regulars. “I was ready to give her a hug or just run away from there as fast as possible, but she shook my hand and smiled like it was completely normal. Is it possible to get friend zoned by an ex? Because I think that’s what happened to me, and it was not pleasant.”

“Yeah, no, that sounds pretty bad,” Maia agreed, although Lydia could tell that she was trying to hold back one of her loud barks of laughter. Lydia wished she wouldn’t do that, because Maia’s laugh was one of the only things that made her smile these days. “Did you shake it back, or did you just let your hand lay there limply as you waited for it to be over?”

“How did you- _Hey_ , why would you assume that would be my reaction?!” Lydia exclaimed indignantly. “I am not that bad most of the time! I was just caught off guard and didn’t know how to react. If I had gotten some forewarning, I would have definitely shaken her hand.”

“Sure you would have,” Maia snorted, sliding another – weaker, Lydia knew – drink towards the blonde woman. “I’m sure you would have handled it like a pro. What else did you guys talk about?”

“Nothing much,” Lydia murmured, thinking back on the very awkward afternoon she had spent with Catarina. “I think it was more about the things we _didn’t_ talk about, if that makes sense. Like how I didn’t mention how much I missed her, how often I thought about her, how empty our- my apartment feels now, or how I get drunk every week-end to forget about how lonely I am.”

“You’re not lonely,” Maia shook her head exasperatedly, gesturing at herself. “I’m here, aren’t I? And I know you have Alec on your side too, no matter how much of an idiot he is for making you work with your ex. Believe me, Lyds, alone is the last thing that you are.”

“You know, you should keep these speeches for when I’m sober,” Lydia pointed out. “That way I wouldn’t forget about them so fast. I could use a bit of a non-alcoholic pick-me-up every once in a while, and I feel like you’re good at that.”

“It comes with the job,” Maia laughed. “You’re not the only person who comes here to use alcohol as a substitute for love, you know?”

“But I’m the only one you take home, right?” Lydia asked, batting her eyelashes at Maia prettily. “Please tell me I’m the only one you take home; I’m not sure I could deal with the betrayal of learning you take all your regulars home when needs must.”

“Yes, Lydia, you’re the only one I take home,” Maia sighed, a fleeting emotion that Lydia couldn’t quite place flashing through her eyes as she spoke. “You’re far more special than any of my other patrons, and you’re the only one I _want_ to take home.”

“Good,” Lydia smiled dopily, knocking her hand against Maia’s playfully and grinning widely when the brunette blushed at the touch. “Thank you for getting me drunk, Maia. Do you think you could make me something even stronger? I want to still be drunk when I wake up tomorrow morning.”

“I… can probably make that happen,” Maia sighed heavily, burying her head in her hands when Lydia cheered victoriously. “You’re going to regret this so much, and I’m not going to call Alec to explain what happened. You’re going to work either way, so are you _sure_ you want this?”

“You said it yourself,” Lydia murmured, staring at Maia pleadingly. “Alcohol is the perfect substitute for love. Well, alcohol and very pretty girls like you. Unfortunately, I’m pretty sure my chances at getting a drink are better than my chances at getting you, so I’ll take your very strong drink and regret it when the time comes.”

“Very well,” Maia agreed, already pouring a new drink for Lydia. “And I know you won’t remember this but, for the record, your chances at getting me are probably a lot higher than you think they are.”

Lydia gaped slightly and, for the first time, she wished she weren’t so drunk. God knew she wanted to remember what Maia had just said come morning.

“Tell me again tomorrow,” she whispered, locking eyes with the beautiful bartender in front of her. “I want to remember this, so promise me you’ll tell me again tomorrow.”

“I promise.”

**Author's Note:**

> Heya guys! Thank you so much for reading! I was in the mood to write some femslash for my favourite girl tonight, so I used songs from her favourite album (thank you Ed Sheeran for being an endless source of inspiration) and wrote her a few fics. As always, these fics are unbeta'ed and unedited, so excuse any mistakes. I hope you all enjoyed this!
> 
> Love, Junie.
> 
> (find me on [tumblr](https://hopesilverheart.tumblr.com/))


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